Working in the field of personal growth, I often encounter what I consider to be one of life's great misconceptions: that those who look for transformation or seek improvement are somehow in need of fixing. I'd like to clear this up once and for all.
You are not broken.
You are not broken. It's worth repeating.
Too many people, especially women, are sent negative and harmful messages around the topic of self-help: that desiring a personal change equates with being damaged; that searching for a different way of living means our current lives are lacking; that wanting to improve relationships marks what we have already achieved is in need of fixing; and that longing to be better signifies that we aren't inherently worthy.
I've heard all of these messages and I call bullshit.
It is possible to desire growth, to want to manifest something more into your life, while accepting the fact that you are already an amazing, wonderful, kickass person.
Many of us come to self-help from a place of hurt. We've gone through a break-up, felt profound grief, lost a job or suffered a trauma. And so, that little voice inside begins to tell us that we have failed and are not worthy. Many times it is the voice of others telling us we are damaged, but it can also be our own voice sending this message of brokenness. What ever the source, I believe these voices are completely false.
Our past experiences serve as a catalyst for change, but the painful events of our lives do not define us. Who we are cannot be defines by something so small as one bad outcome or even a series of bad outcomes, however terrible it may feel in the moment. True, our disappointment and grief can push us to re-think the future and propel us toward something new, but so does our joy and elation. It is the sum of our experiences (both good and bad) which causes us to reach new depths and achieve new heights in the very heart of our being. We seek change outside to match the change already occurring inside.
Feeling drawn toward growth doesn't mean that we are lacking; it means we are learning.
And I, for one, want to keep on learning. Never believe anyone who says you are broken or aren't good enough. It is simply not true.
You are exactly enough and will continue to be exactly enough, even if you desire more.
If you struggle with believing that you are worthy and deserving of all good things, I'd love to work with you. Click below to request more information on coaching sessions and packages.