On my own path to joy, I’ve had several “aha moments”. Today I want to talk about one of the big ones. For most of my life, I believed that I had to work harder than other people. I spent a lot of energy comparing myself to others (more on that terrible habit later). Things just seemed easier for them. “Normal people” did things like apply for a job and then get hired or go on a diet and then lose weight. I, on the other hand, always had to take the hardest path. Everyone around me seemed to have a much clearer cause and effect relationship with the world than I did. Self pity ensued.
Then one day, in a really intense Heal Your Life workshop, I learned the concept of deservability. I learned in a tearful revelation that the reason I wasn’t getting what I wanted was because I fundamentally believed that I didn’t deserve it. Before this workshop, I didn’t know those thoughts were lurking behind my self-sabotage. In fact, I would have argued that I absolutely deserved success and happiness. I had worked my ass off for years. But you know that feeling when your gut knows that something is true? Well, once I unearthed these limiting beliefs, I knew in a flash that they had been holding me back all along. No cosmic force had been out to get me. I was not destined to live a life of uphill battles. I just didn’t believe that I deserved anything better. Well, shit.
Fortunately for me, demons don’t like light. So once I aired out this dark corner of my brain, I started to feel better. I did a lot of journaling and I made a daily ritual out of telling myself that I was good enough. More than good enough. I deserved good things. I learned to get out of my own way and sure enough, life got easier.
I tell this story because I think it is a very common one. Nearly all of the people I work with struggle with feeling that they don’t deserve abundance, or love, or prosperity, or anything good at all. Criticism and shame, whether intended or not, from our pasts becomes embedded in our minds. When we believe that criticism, it screws up our lives and robs us of joy.
How does the idea of deservability land for you? When you think about your goals and dreams, do you really believe you deserve to achieve them? (You do.) Some food for thought:
- What did you learn about deserving when you were growing up? What did you have to do to deserve things? What did you have to do to deserve love?
- How did that impact your ability to achieve what you want today?
- What do you deserve now? Do you know for real and for true that you are more than enough?
As someone who learned these lessons the hard way, here’s what I know for sure…You deserve vibrant health. You deserve love. You deserve comfort, peace, prosperity, freedom, and joy. You deserve more than that. It’s time to face facts - you are pretty great. How would it feel if you reminded yourself on a regular basis that you are worthy of all good things?
It’s not an easy shift, but wow, is it worth the work. Let me know if I can support you on your journey. firstname.lastname@example.org